Futurama Cuts UK

Cuts from Friends, 2001-03
Friends repeats had been shown uncut on Channel 4 in an early-evening slot for years, but in 2001 C4 began to censor segments. The cutting seemed very hit-and-miss, but has continued since then, as the series became more risqué.

The silliest thing is that these cuts have stuck – even when it was shown at night on E4, the censored Joey-in-a-cupboard episode was broadcast. Here are a few examples from various episodes [credit to The Complete Friends Scripts Index for lines]

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DEFINITE CUTS BY CHANNEL 4
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The One with the Cat & Where Joey and Chandler Get Robbed (Season 4)
Phoebe is performing a "song" angrily and loudly at the café:
PHOEBE   
# Dumb, drunken bitch!! # (strums a few times, then is suddenly cheery) Thank you! (applause)
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Joey is trying to sell the home-made unit that houses his and Chandler's TV and hi-fi. When showing it to a prospective buyer, he claims he can fit inside one of the cupboards, but the buyer disagrees:
JOEY          If I can’t, I’ll knock 5 bucks off the price of the unit. (opens door)
BUYER       Yeah, you have yourself a deal. (they shake hands)
(Joey climbs into the unit and shuts the door. The buyer takes an ice-hockey stick and jams the door closed with it)
JOEY         (from inside) See? I told ya!
 
(buyer/robber grabs the hi-fi and a lamp and heads towards the apartment’s door) Sometimes I come in here just to get away from it!  (shot of the unit) Hey, a nickel!  (end of scene)
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Later, Chandler walks in to find nothing in the apartment:
CHANDLER    (astonished) Oh my God!
JOEY                (still locked inside) What? (Chandler shrugs exasperatedly
, and walks across to the unit)
CHANDLER    Are you all right?
JOEY                 Yeah. (Chandler takes the stick out of the door)
CHANDLER    What happened?
JOEY                (climbs out) Oh man, he promised he wouldn’t take the chairs!

CHANDLER    (getting redder and louder)  What the hell happened, how are you locked in there are
 where the hell’s all our stuff?!

No explanation or anything, C4 just faded from one camera shot (Joey standing up) to another (Joey locked away) and then back again! Mystifying to watch.
But you can see their reasoning. C4 must have been afraid that kids would see this on TV, and then start pushing their parents into cupboards and locking them in. Yes, I can imagine it all now.

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The One Where Ross Gets a Keyboard and Starts Playing Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Poor Songs (Season 4)
After Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler and Monica have heard Ross's "music" for the first time:
ROSS                Well, what did everyone think?
RACHEL          (not quite telling the truth) Oh, that was... terrific!
CHANDLER    Yeah, it was really... bitchin'!

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The One with the Embryos, where Ross Invents a Quiz that Loses Monica and Rachel Their Apartment (Season 4)
During the "lightning round":
ROSS (quizmaster)        At what age did Chandler first touch a girl's breast?
MONICA (guessing)       Fourteen!
ROSS                                 No, nineteen.
CHANDLER (to Ross)   Thanks, man (!)


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The One Where Ross Got High & Rachel Gets Her Thanksgiving Trifles Mixed Up (Season 6)
Rachel enters:
RACHEL    Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
JOEY          Did-did it make you want to walk around in your underwear?
RACHEL    No!

JOEY          (frustrated) Still not hot enough!

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The One With Rachel’s Sister & Where Monica’s Sick but Still Wants to Have Sex with Chandler (Season 6)
MONICA           Fine, I’ll rub it [the Vap-o-Rub] on myself.
CHANDLER    Okay.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and 'something' starts happening to him)
CHANDLER    So you’re just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
MONICA           Yeah?
CHANDLER    It’s nice.
MONICA          Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?

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The One that Could Have Been, pt 2 (Season 6)

CUTS BY SKY ONE [who don't show Friends anymore]
In the closing credits, Phoebe is performing one of her beloved, crap songs:
PHOEBE     It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see
One of them won’t do it, but the second will set you free
To all your hate and anger
It’s time to say goodbye
And that is just what I will do
Till those bastards I worked for die!

La lalala la la lalala la (episode ends... that censored song was a bit short wasn't it?)

 
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